I spend a considerable amount of time questioning my decision to work somewhere that I can no longer (easily) take the bus to and from on a daily basis. Granted, I can’t really complain, as I’m always going against the heavy flow of traffic both in the morning and the afternoon… but sitting back and letting someone else do the driving while I read a book or listened to the radio was a nice thing, and most days I miss it. Every now and then a day comes along that makes me happy that I’m behind the wheel of the Volvo wagon, cruising along I-794, over the bridge, and west on I-94. This morning was one of those days… as I passed the Hawley Road exit, a little black Saturn merged into the right lane in front of me, and the first thing I noticed (aside from the smoke and fumes belching out of the exhaust) was the vanity plate – VAMPBAT. “Oh no, this one’s going to be a nutter”, I mumbled to myself. Sure enough, as I pulled along side, I look over and see this character that looks like Penn (or maybe it’s Teller, not sure which is which… anyway, the big one) – all decked out in black, with these 80’s-style gloves (you know, with the strategically placed slits and holes in them). Where is my camera when I need it???
I frequently listen to a couple of clowns named “Cramp and Adler”, who have a morning radio show on 102.1, on the way into work in the morning. They’ve caught onto a section of Craig’s List called “missed connections”, and read what they consider to be the funniest postings, embellished with quite a bit of their own humor. This particular morning, they read this one, entitled “Hey Sugarbutt – m4w – 27” … “You: Beautiful girl with erotic cheek bones and a perfect smile, driving a red Acura Integra with a failing muffler and squeaky brakes down highway 16. Me: Skinny-fat nerd with chronic sinus congestion problems and a career in IT driving a black Mazda 3 with a screaming toddler in the backseat throwing his shoes at me. I see you on the highway sometimes and you are perfect in every way. Let me paint you a picture: a game of Scrabble at my place over a six dollar bottle of Shiraz and some tacos. Then I want to take you bowling. After that, we’ll go back to my place and see what happens. I hope you don’t think just because a guy played some D&D back in college he doesn’t know how to rock you like a hurricane.” They didn’t have to add much to this one… just a little razzing of the guy for the Scorpions reference, as if the rest of the content wasn’t bad enough. Now, I could picture a plethora of current and former co-workers that might have placed that ad, which made it all the funnier… Wow.
